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Right.....as part of my 'getting my life back together' plan I have decided a few days in the sun and get some Vitamin D and boy did I pick the right time as the weather in UK is pretty rubbish!! When I get back I will be in the development stages for my 45-65ish professional singles evenings in Chichester, Bournemouth and Southampton and I expect to see lots of people (male/female) who have experienced the same withdrawal from society symptoms as I have, and now they feel like shaking off the misery, grabbing life by the 'you know whats' and embracing the quality years that they are blessed with. Please pop on to my web site www.southcoastdinnersociety.com and lets get you out there :-)


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The surge in older divorce

The latest statistics show that more than a quarter of all divorces were by men and women aged:

Over 50 - the figures from the Office for National Statistics show that around 28 per cent of divorces in 2016 were among this older age group.

The factors for this seem to be mainly:

Life expectancy is increasing – knowing that you have 20-30 more years ahead

Retirement- removes the daily routine of work and might uncover the sad truth that a couple just don’t actually enjoy spending time together anymore

Children growing up and leaving home or those that have stayed together for the children’s sake find that when the dynamics of your relationship change then cracks start to show.


Over 60’s - for many couples, moving into their 60s means significant change to their lives.


The issues are less about childcare, access and maintenance and more concerned with pension rights and inheritance planning. If one or both partners ends up re-marrying or cohabiting there is a need to protect assets and liabilities both for their dependent children and their new partners.


The increase in later life divorce means it is crucial to identify ways to make splitting pension assets easier.


The need to create a court order to do so could be prohibitively costly for some and an added stress at an already highly-emotional time.


Loneliness - those who divorce and do not remarry in later life are at increased risk of loneliness.


One in 10 over-60s say they feel lonely some, if not all of the time.


The subject of loneliness is still taboo in the UK and the stigma around admitting loneliness needs to be addressed.


Mental and physical health Divorce doesn’t just affect the finances of individuals who leave a marriage, often mental well-being is impacted in the short-term which can in turn lead to a physical deterioration over the longer term.

Men are particularly at risk after divorce as they are more likely to turn to institutional care than women who are more likely to rely on their families for support. (last weeks blog)

Some support links below:

https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/talk-someone

http://www.drw.org.uk/

https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/mental-health

https://www.gov.uk/divorce


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Weekly advice and Guidance for Single 45 to 65 year olds


This week - taking those first steps to a new life after the end of a long term relationship

or bereavement.


The older we get the harder meeting ‘that someone’ typically seems. For those of you who

are newly single, it might be hard getting back into the swing—the whole dating scene has

changed so much since we used to go to discos, dances, bars and gigs.


Meeting someone (Male/Female) is a whole new ball game as you don’t have the same

milestones to achieve (getting married, having children) so why not embrace it for what it is,

relax and enjoy the journey with a whole new approach:


As we get older, we realise time is limited, so we focus on the details that matter and they

become important as we value our independence and have quite possibly become set in our

ways! Humans like to have rituals, and those become a lot harder to change as we get

older.


The secret is – just to be ourselves as what do we have to prove – ‘nothing’, my outlook is

‘what you see is what you get’. Even better, be totally up front about your history, even if it

one you are not happy with (2 failed marriages!) as don’t forget that we all have history and

you will get a better reception with openness and honesty.


As we all age, things… happen. It doesn’t mean that humans stop being attractive as the

years go by, but bodies naturally change with time. You can’t expect to look 20 when you’re

50. A male/female in their 50s and beyond is well aware of this and we must embrace our

age and who we are at this stage in our lives. The things we are attracted to are the kind

Even if nothing romantic springs from a date/meeting up you may still turn it into a fun

contact for social events and a good friend who you can have a great time with.


We are not at a stage in our lives and at an age where we have lived a pretty rewarding life

so far, but we are still eager to see what’s ahead:



Topics we will cover in the next 4 weeks:

How Men can move on after divorce & divorce tips for men and dads, (next week)

Male depression after divorce

Silver Separation – the surge in older divorce


More older women are choosing divorce

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